Rendezvous
30 January 04 : 04.15 PM
Not attending school means I'll have to wake up by 9 or 10 am and sneak up to the guest room, hoping my dad doesn't coincidentally want to go to the bathroom, and see the security camera video on his way, and see me tipping toes past his door and running up the stairs.
And if I'm hungry, I'd have to scurry down, down to the storage room-turned-provision shop and grab some snacks. Again, having to cross my fingers and hope my dad doesn't see the security television, and see me running down the stairs, tipping toes past his door and scurrying down another flight of stairs to the storeroom bursting with food.
If I'm too lazy for all that, I'd just take my pillow and lie on the floor where my dad can't see me if he enters my room. It's no magic trick, I'm just blocked from his view by my bed. But, anyway, he usually doesn't come into my room unless he gets tipped off about my absence from school.
And like a mouse who will only come out to play when the cat's away, I will only emerge from the room once I am certain my dad is no longer home.
It has become such an inside joke, literally. Where I can laugh at myself thinking how stupid it all looks.
I've been so lazy. I haven't attended school for about 4 days.
Monday I didn't. Tuesday I did. But it was too much to handle. The first thing I found out when I went to school was that I had a physics test and a chinese test that I didn't study for. I'd asked Mabel what homework we had and stuff, but she didn't mention the tests.
"She's just being selfish, not wanting you to do better than her," Ruby told me. I shrugged. I didn't want to believe in the bad in people.
And, I've been so lazy, I didn't even bother going up to the guestroom, I didn't bother trying to hide myself. I just laid in bed. Lying there even when I'm wide awake.
When you don't go to school, you just don't ever want to go back to school. Like an addiction. Even when you do go back to school, you wish you didn't need to.
It's like this delicious langour where you don't want to do anything, you just want to savour this moment when you're not doing anything but doing everything at the same time.
Everything like thinking and wondering and fantasizing and thinking more about questions and wondering more about their answers which you know you can never find and fantasizing more about how it could be not being what you are now.
Yup, that's how it feels like to skip school.